A Day in the Life of an Unglamorous Mom

Some people live their life in intervals, precisely mapping out their way with successive five-year plans to nail down one milestone after another; some try (whether successfully or unsuccessfully) to control it down to every single occasion; while others sort of let fate be their guide. I’m among the latter. In fact, there was a time in my life when fate seemed to have got me by the tail and I became the unwilling participant in my life’s design.

A friend of mine once said about his own temporary troubles in a letter… “I take comfort in the belief that the problems I’m currently experiencing will eventually resolve in some form or fashion...” At the time, I thought it was a pretty fatalistic comment to make, but I’ve since partially adopted his attitude which has helped me find some consolation and acceptance during the more difficult periods of my life.

I’ve come to a resting point where I could appreciate my life the way it is – imperfect, disorderly, and sometimes bordering on unmanageable – despite it being terrifically mundane, thus providing the inspiration for the title of my blog.

Never a restless soul, I believed that being a mom was what life had in the cards for me and what I did best (partly by default, I might add, with some embarrassment). However, I had also mistakenly thought that once my days of diaper changing and baby bottle sterilizing were over, I would have all the time in the world to work at becoming a less harried and more attentive mom.

I was wrong!

Where has all my time gone? Hard to believe that Audrey is now a college student and I’m still as much a harried mom as ever!

I decided to keep a log of what I did around the clock, Bridget Jones style, for a week, to see where I was going wrong.


A Day in the Life of an Unglamorous Mom

Day 1 (Wednesday, July 14, 2010)

8:30 AM - Woke up from phone ringing. Decided to let whoever it was leave a message. Stumbled to the kitchen, feeling groggy and remembering that I’d pored over the office paperwork until 2 AM last night. Vowed to begin and end my day earlier from now on.

Played phone tag with Scott from Beach City Plumbing, whom I’d contacted to convert my BBQ from propane to natural gas. Watered my potted plants and refilled my backyard fountain.

8:45 - Checked business and personal emails. As usual, found too many messages that didn’t deserve recycling, especially from my personal email address. Spent a good chunk of time weeding them and opting out of catalog mailing lists.

9:00 - Shuffled upstairs to take a shower before the kids woke up. Suddenly remembered that the load of laundry I ran two nights ago was still in the washer, probably generating plenty of mildew by now. Made side trip to laundry room to throw musty-smelling clothes in the dryer.

9:25 - Came back downstairs intending to make a quick run to the market, but heard Lauren reminding me loudly from the top of the stairs that I’d promised to let her hang out with Megan today (Note: It’s not a play date anymore at her age.) Shouted back that she would have to wait until after I took Andrea to her BIG (Big Brothers Big Sisters) meeting at Madison Park. Endured several minutes of Lauren’s whining.

9:30 - Mapquested directions to Megan’s house and Madison Park. Felt quite relieved that the latter was in Santa Ana, not that far from our home. Megan’s, however, was a 25-minute drive to Newport Coast. Her family had moved there from our old neighborhood at the end of the school year. Lauren was excited to be the first among her friends to visit Megan at her new address.

Copied both sets of directions to my Destinations file for future access.

9:40 - Took my blood pressure medications and threw away almost all of the left-overs in my fridge. Realized that I really needed to make a trip to the grocery store for the kids’ sake, as there was nothing in the fridge worth eating. Made soft-boiled eggs and mi goi (MAMA instant noodles) for Kiet and called him down for breakfast. Asked Andrea if she wanted me to reheat homemade spaghetti from yesterday for breakfast and she said no, thank you. Brewed some jasmine tea for Andrea because she wanted it. Spent several unproductive minutes feeling guilty about feeding my kids basically Vietnamese junk food!

9:55 - Checked with Audrey (still in her bed) to see if I needed to take her anywhere on her day off. Audrey said yes, but much later. She had to complete her design project at the Irvine FIDM campus because she'd lost her sewing machine pedal during our move almost two years ago and still hasn’t replaced it!

10:00 - Thought I probably had enough time to shop for groceries before taking Andrea to her BIG meeting, but decided not to take a chance. Folded and put away clothes from the dryer instead. Started another load of laundry while waiting for Andrea.

10:20 - Andrea asked me to pick up her friend Ashley on the way. She has been catching rides with Ashley during the school year, and this was the only time I got to return the favor. Ashley is a year older than Andrea and has gotten her driver’s license for a while now. So did Nallina, Andrea’s other best friend, who was now in Japan on a Mazda scholarship. Felt like I was the only mom in the world who still chauffeured her teenage daughters around every day.

10:45 - Headed to Madison Park to drop off the girls.

11:15 - Returned home and prepared business deposit slips for my sister, Peni, to take to the bank. Determined the amount of employer contributions we could afford to make to the corporate SEP IRA for 2009 and drafted Letters of Instructions to Fidelity Investments. Had hoped to tag on a trip to Fidelity just before getting Lauren to Megan’s, but gave up the idea to avoid possible whining from Lauren.

12:00 - Dropped off Little Miss Demanding. Megan’s house looked amazing… in very exclusive Tuscany neighborhood with street names like Morning Light and Pacific Mist!

12:30 PM - Came home to a full house. Ashley’s sister had picked up both girls from their BIG meeting and dropped them off at my home. The other kids were up and my sister Peni has arrived for work with her daughter, Natasha. Gave deposit slips to Peni and discussed her chores for the day.

Kiet stopped playing Oblivion to ask me if there’s anything to eat. Made do by pouring him a glass of orange juice and reheating spaghetti. He said my spaghetti was the best! Felt sufficiently encouraged.  Kiet always makes me feel appreciated.

Audrey told me she didn’t want to eat because she wasn’t hungry. Suspected that she was secretly worried about gaining weight. Decided to leave her alone.

1:00 - Finished SEP IRA letters of instructions and mailed out copies to eligible employees. Emailed figures to accountant to give him the go-ahead to prepare both my business and personal tax returns for 2009.

Opened unexpected email from MetLife containing great news… my refinance file has gotten final approval after many months of delay. Instant mood pick-up!

2:00 - At Albertsons loading up my cart with plenty of fruits and vegetables, feeling smug. My day was going exceedingly well!

2:30 - Have finished putting groceries away and gotten a head start on dinner preparation. Potatoes and carrots were peeled and cut; broccoli and leeks washed. I even had pork chops simmering contentedly on the stovetop. Hallelujaj!

3:00 - Proudly taste-tested my huge pot of no-name soup/stew. Decided it wouldn’t make a difference whether my cooking was nondescript since the kids would eat it up anyway. Believe it or not, my kids have actually suggested once or twice that I write a cookbook. It just goes to show that loyalty is blind, especially in children.

3:10 - Received call from Lauren saying she wanted to delay her pick-up until much later in the afternoon when she had musical theater rehearsal.

Called and left a message for Diana, the girls’ voice instructor, to ask if they could have a make-up lesson tomorrow since we missed her because of a doctor’s appointment yesterday.

Felt quite relieved that I’d cooked dinner early and didn’t have to rush through the rest of the day.

3:15 - Decided to check emails. Immediately regretted decision because jubilant mood was spoiled by letter from our tenants saying the rental property was burglarized three days ago. Actually, it would only count as an attempted burglary, since the man of the house happened to be home and scared off the unsuspecting burglar, who fled on foot. However, his wife and her young son were still freaked out because the burglar had not been caught by the police so far. Email posed the question of what I could do to help them feel safer. Suggested options included installing alarm system, spikes on the side gate (which burglar leapt over), or motion sensor security lights at strategic spots along the home perimeter.

Forwarded email to ex, FYI only, since I was responsible for the health & maintenance of our rental property. Arrived at quick decision that I should at least attempt the minimum to ease the tenants’ concerns since they seemed to be nice folks (especially when compared to our former tenants). Wrote email saying that to be honest, I couldn’t afford to install and maintain a home security system for them, and spikes were out of the question because they would raise the association’s wrath, but I’d try to wrestle my landscaper from his current project to install security lights at the side gates ASAP.

Made mental note to self to gauge the tenants’ intentions regarding their long-term lease, which will be up for renewal in four months. My cousin told me her tenants just asked for a rent reduction, citing the bad economy. Was hoping I could keep mine happy with just a non-increase. Wondered if I should just sell the house and be done with it!

3:40 - Looked up security lights online and could not make up my mind between solar and electric. Wasn’t particularly thrilled to have Julio rip off and replace the new wall sconces I had him install just months ago with conventional security lights, but solar lights probably wouldn’t live up to their reputation anyway, as most energy-saving/environment-friendly devices have tended to disappoint, IMHO. And could I trust an amorphous solar panel, one 16’ cord, and three AA 1000 mAh NiMH rechargeable batteries to give off enough light for my tenants’ peace of mind? Sounds too complicated! I’d just call up Julio.

4:10 - Audrey wandered into the kitchen to announce she was hungry. Took out the Panini press the kids gave me for my birthday to make a grilled turkey sandwich for her. Device refused to work even after I'd checked the electric cord and switched outlets several times. Made unauthentic panini in oven instead.

4:40 - Made a mad dash to Fidelity after driving Audrey to FIDM. Managed to make the SEP IRA contributions before Fidelity closed their doors at 5 PM.

5:20 - Returned home and checked phone messages. Audrey’s instructed me to look for her yellow tool box and bring it to FIDM at 7:15.

5:25 - Felt ravenous and realized I haven’t eaten anything all day except a piece of gum for breakfast. Stuffed myself with whatever was laying on the kitchen counter at the moment, which included one speckled banana, leftover Panda Express noodles that Peni bought for Natasha, and some old banana chips. Wondered if that counted as one or two servings of fruits & vegetables.

5:45 - Made Kiet eat his dinner early since I knew I would head out again soon. Kiet liked my no-name soup/stew. At least I could count on him to be consistently non-demanding.

6:00 - Checked on Andrea but her bedroom door was closed with the usual “Do Not Disturb! Bi is watching a movie” sign up. Drove Natasha to Megan’s house to pick up Lauren and dropped off both girls at Newport Theatre Arts Center for their Hi Ho Robin Hood musical rehearsal. Lauren reminded me that I owed her a trip to the grocery store to prepare for her friends’ sleepover tomorrow. Told her I had enough in the fridge, but Lauren insisted that she needed whip cream, strawberries, and mini chocolate chips to make pancakes for breakfast.

7:15 - Swung by FIDM to give Audrey her supplies. Audrey told me to wait in the car while she retrieved a USB flash drive from her tool box and ran back in the building to finish her project.

7:45 - Took Audrey home to rest. Asked Peni if she could take a break from work so I could use the computer for a while. Taught Andrea how to generate medical claims. Peni really needed help... she’s currently behind on billing.

8:30 - Andrea was a quick study, but after getting all the information down, said she’s sleepy and needed to catch some z’s before she could practice billing. I knew she’s been staying up past 1 AM in her room every night even though it’s summer and there’s no homework. Is every teenager’s circadian rhythm similarly messed up, or is it just my kids’? Resolved to bite my tongue for now. Andrea trotted off to her room for a nap, unaware I was about to give her a lecture.

9:00 - Natasha and Lauren have finished their practice session, but were still prancing around on the theater's lawn, refusing to leave. They went through an exhaustive merry-go-round of hugs and goodbye’s with their cast mates before reluctantly hopping into the car.

9:45 - Home at last! Lauren rejected my healthful homemade soup, preferring to make her own favorite standby – mi goi, boiled and sautéed with butter and MSG-laden seasonings. At least I’d made her eat a peach for snacks during the day!

10:00 - Peni relayed a message from one of the organizers of “You Can Dance”, who'd called to touch base with me regarding my girls’ scheduled performances in October.  Was too late to call her back, so I decided to wait until tomorrow.

10:15 - Tomorrow happened to be trash pick-up day. Took the trash bins out to the curb and on the way, noticed that my dying azalea tree has not improved. Realized I should have given it up for dead from the beginning instead of futilely practicing plant CPR for over two weeks. Stuffed the tree in my green recycle container to keep company with other dead plants.

10:30 - Peni has finally left! Worked for a good two hours on the computer, paying bills and reconciling figures, before feeling my eyelids droop. Dishes were still piled high in the sink. I decided to leave them there unwashed. Took my blood pressure medications and went to bed early (thirty minutes past midnight).

Tomorrow is another day!

Day 2 (Thursday, July 15, 2010) through Day 7 (Tuesday, July 20, 2010)

More to come... hopefully!

 Audrey took this photo of me with the sweetpea in my side yard as the backdrop